7 Reasons ISIS may not be texting you back
#5 will make you shit your pants... TWICE
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1. BECAUSE YOU ARE SOOOOOO FUCKING  NEEDY. DON'T YOU DARE DOUBLE TEXT. DOUBLE TEXTING INEVITABLY LEADS TO TRIPPLE TEXTING, AND AFTER THAT ITS LIKE A GOD DAMN FREE FOR ALL, YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO STOP TEXTING ISIS, EVERY SECOND YOULL SEND MORE TEXTS, YOU'LL GROW MORE APPENDAGES AND BUY MORE PHONES SO YOU CAN SIMULTANEOUSLY EMAIL ISIS WITH YOUR OTHER PHONE, IN ONE HAND YOU'LL HAVE YET ANOTHER PHONE CALLING ISIS.  YOU TAKE ISIS'S PHONE AND REPLACE ALL OF ITS CONTACTS WITH UR # YOU DESPERATE HOE THEN YOU'LL END UP REPLACING ALL THE PICS IN ISIS'S PHONE W PICS OF U, I KNOW YOUR TYPE, YOU'LL LURK UNDER ISIS'S BED UNTIL THEY GET HOME FROM WORK THEN WAIT FOR THEM AND POP OUT SCREAMING WHY HAVEN'T YOU ANSWERED MY TEXTS

2. Maybe ISIS just isn't that into you.

3. Honestly, ISIS is probably busy. They're working on establishing a worldwide caliphate, and what is your lazy ass doing. Sitting on the couch watching SVU all day??

4. He knows you were texting Al-Qaeda yesterday. He was WITH AL-QAEDA WHEN AL-QAEDA GOT YOUR NUDES. 

​5. Laxatives

6. Are you and ISIS even official yet?

7. You lack commitment to global Jihad. You and ISIS had a really great first date but he was expecting you to denounce western civilization and you're still watching SVU.

ok  whats the most free katchup at shake shack that you have ever given your parents for christmas???

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