16 Reasons To Date The Girl Who Is Eating The Couch
1. She's crazy in the bedroom. And she's crazy in the living room. And she's crazy in the bathroom. She's crazy everywhere you go. She's actually fucking insane. You should not date the girl who is eating the couch. I mean who knows she could eat you for christ's sake, like I'm honestly sure that a couch does not taste as good as a person. Well I mean I'm a vegetarian so I would have to order couch over person but who knows what would happen if no one was looking ;). If she's still eating the couch right now I would peace out immediately.
2. She always knows what she wants for dinner!
3. Difficult to actually take out anywhere. Can't really go on any day trips. You have to bring a couch with you if you want to go on a date. And then she'll eat it so you can't even sit on it
4. V Chill because of the organ failure due to eating couch all night. She can't move.
5. WHY IS SHE EATING THE COUCH??
6. When she dies, which will likely be in the next few days, you can slice her open and the half digested bits of couch will make for a very comfy ~ water bed esque ~ DIY corpse couch experience!
7. Oh no.
8. She's finished the couch.
9. She's looking keenly at me.
11. HELP. SHES GOT MY ARM
12. ;ALKSDHGPOAIEGHPOIAJFDP OAAAAGHH NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO